Table of Contents
The Problem: Playing a Game You Didn’t Design
From childhood, most of us are handed a pre-built scoreboard—grades, job titles, social status, likes, followers, money, prestige. Society tells us: These are the metrics that matter. Fall behind, and you’ll feel like you’re losing. Get ahead, and you might feel a fleeting sense of victory—until the goalposts shift.
But here’s the truth: If you don’t define your own scoreboard, someone else will.
The question isn’t whether you’ll play the game of status and relevance—it’s whose game you’re playing.
So, how do you take back control? How do you build a personal existential scoreboard that actually reflects your values, ambitions, and fulfillment?
Step One: Identify the Default Scoreboard Controlling You
The first step to breaking free is recognizing the invisible rules shaping your self-worth.
Ask yourself:
✅ What external metrics am I chasing? (Social approval, wealth, fame, credentials?)
✅ Whose validation do I seek most? (Peers, parents, social media, industry elites?)
✅ What happens if I “win” this game? Will it actually fulfill me?
Most people don’t even question the scoreboard they’re using. They just chase the highest numbers without asking if the system serves them.
For example:
- A corporate executive spends 30 years climbing the ladder only to realize he never wanted the job—he just wanted to feel important.
- An influencer obsesses over engagement metrics but feels hollow inside because the audience dictates their identity.
- A student pursues a prestigious degree because their parents expect it, not because it aligns with their passions.
The default scoreboard isn’t yours—it’s a system you inherited. Time to build a new one.
Step Two: Define What Actually Matters to You
If external metrics don’t define success, what does?
A powerful existential scoreboard should be customized to your unique vision of fulfillment. It should measure what genuinely makes you feel alive—not just what looks impressive on paper.
Three Core Questions to Design Your Own Scoreboard:
1️⃣ What do I want to create, experience, or master in this lifetime?
- (E.g., Mastering a craft, traveling, building a meaningful business, raising a family.)
2️⃣ How do I want to measure progress?
- (E.g., Depth over popularity, impact over income, relationships over status.)
3️⃣ What am I willing to trade for fulfillment?
- (E.g., Less external validation for more personal freedom?)
Examples of Alternative Scoreboards:
🚀 An artist might reject social media metrics and track personal creative breakthroughs.
🌱 A philosopher might measure success by how deeply they understand reality, not how many followers they have.
🏔️ An adventurer might define success as how many incredible life experiences they collect.
Key Insight: Your scoreboard should prioritize what feels meaningful to you, not what impresses others.
Step Three: Create Systems That Support Your Scoreboard
Once you’ve defined your personal metrics, you need a system to reinforce them. Otherwise, the external world will pull you back into old validation loops.
How to Strengthen Your Personal Scoreboard:
1️⃣ Remove External Triggers – Unfollow people who reinforce the wrong metrics. Limit exposure to comparison-driven environments.
2️⃣ Build a Ritual Around Your Metrics – Track your real progress, whether it’s journaling breakthroughs, creating a portfolio, or measuring personal fulfillment.
3️⃣ Find a Tribe That Values Your Scoreboard – If you surround yourself with people obsessed with external validation, it’s hard to break free. Seek communities that align with your values.
4️⃣ Detach from the Default Scoreboard’s Rewards – This is the hardest part. When society praises you for metrics that don’t align with your values, you have to consciously let go of the approval.
The Ultimate Realization: You Are the Judge, Not the Player
At the highest level of freedom, you’re not just designing a new scoreboard—you’re stepping into the role of judge, not player.
Instead of anxiously chasing points, you become the one deciding what has value.
🔹 Your life stops being a competition and starts being a masterpiece you are crafting.
🔹 You no longer fear falling behind because you’re playing a different game entirely.
🔹 You realize the only real scoreboard is how deeply you align with your own purpose.
Final Takeaway: The Existential Scoreboard Is Yours to Build
- The game is rigged—until you build your own.
- Every day, ask yourself: Am I chasing someone else’s metrics or living by my own?
- Your scoreboard isn’t about looking successful. It’s about feeling truly alive.
